How can you stay outside, there is a beautiful mess inside..

Tag Archives: sarcasm

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈!!!!!

 

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈!!!!!

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-是的 烏克蘭拖拉機簡史是一本小說的名字..

-不不不..不是翻譯的問題..英文直譯過來就是這樣的..

-不..不是介紹農業產品的..是一本優秀的喜劇小說還得了獎..

(想想Sheldon打給Zack替Amy約泡那個電話的scenario和語氣表情好嗎!)#好愛演#

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈

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開頭那個粉紅毛茸茸手榴彈的比喻好貼切 讓我瞬間想起好幾個sb…然後腦海中就不可抑制得浮現出 好像那種劣質的gif一樣的 好像每一個傻逼 晃著晃著 就變成粉色毛茸茸的手榴彈…然後我心控把他們炸爆了..#that is so lame#

飲食男女啊 古人說的多實在多直接…84歲老人家想要娶一個性感中年烏克蘭女人這件事情在男女不同的看法中 就表現得超明顯啊…書裡說男人聽到這件事情時候都是一副 you lucky dog的樣子 女人則都是人為she is a bitch, she is definitely going after his money! #真不知道當年楊振寧又那妃子的時候大家都是怎麼看的#

總之就是老頭想要娶一個烏克蘭的貌似有借結婚之機移民傾向又騙錢的sexy bitch 然後兩個女兒的交流啊對策啊 還回顧了一下之前媽媽去世時候的事情 (如果那part的故事 發生在現實生活中我一定覺得他們弱爆了好嗎 就是那種弱到都不值得你去鄙視的城鄉結合體形象一樣的弱)

我能吐槽一下嗎!!烏克蘭名字譯成漢語之後比harry porter里的人名還難記好多倍啊!!神馬神馬娜神馬神馬拉!!不能翻譯成點正常的名字嗎!!誰說外文小說人名一定要音譯過來啊!! 我看到一半又翻回去確認了一下誰是誰好嗎不然實在屢不清楚那麼亂七八糟貴圈叼亂的關係好嗎!!!

之後她們總之就是沒能阻止老頭子結婚 人家愛起來也可以像青春期小男生一樣幼稚衝動又不管不顧好嗎..之後就是大段的個人好喜歡的歷史一樣講出來的家譜故事!!故事好棒 略可惜自己沒有更多關於烏克蘭歷史的背景 不然看起來一定更爽..好想看看烏克蘭歷史之後最看一遍神馬的..#算了吧我也覺得我只是說說而已#

在看那一part的時候 我一直不可以值得聯想到中國文革前後的階段 有饑荒 有農業改造 有好像文化大清洗一樣的活動 好像全都fit的樣子…大概是說到自己不瞭解的實情 大腦會自動用已知事實來填補上知道的部份吧..anyway..看完之後覺得雖然沒有特別特別大的觸動 或者 神馬思考神馬的 可是就是喜歡這個style啊!! 然後還想要說上一下goodreads看一下人家怎麼評價神馬的..然後才發現原來內地把goodreads也墻了…至於嘛…

P.S. :sociolinguistics的課上 如果以這種材料去學習神馬language switch啊什麽code啊之類的 一定好玩到爆啊!!! 這本書裡強調了好幾次 譬如說 在一個argument之後 就轉成 好像很正式的聽起來很熱情的英文說 就這樣吧 我們去吃飯吧 類似這種..或者說 她爸爸說話就一定是那種工程師式的硬邦邦的英文 她媽媽則是講烏克蘭語 軟綿綿的 聲調變化很多的母語..不記得在哪裡看到說language is political..大概這個意思吧…#好多時候心情不好或者覺得說中文語氣很奇怪的時候我也常常想轉成英文說 真鄙視自己 oh wait 其實我是想說 你看大家都這樣#


Sad but kind of true, or maybe it’s just the cultural difference..?.. not sure..I mean sometimes I think those characters are pretty pathetic, really, like how they always try to prove that they are having a great time, or how they enjoy their lives, how they love being a Hong Konger in an international metropolis, blah blah blah, but all i see is that they are just ordinary people trying to make a living out of whatever they do, and most of the time they hate it, they couldnt stand it, and they wish soooo much that things can change…..anyway…wtf should i care….

Well, what’s more pathetic is that I seriously read through the whole article and is reposting it to my own blog even i know it’s more like a try-to-cheer-you-up kinda joke-like post after i scanned through the first line…………..==!

The writer ironically elaborates ten things that most of the Hong Kong people would do that make them stand out from the tourists, e.g.: walk extremely in a rush manner as if they are in a speed walking compitition ; take tons of photos in the restaurant and post’em all to FB pretending they had a very good time even the food sucks and they could barely stand it; and also how they abbreviate everything trying to make it easier and save some time, but turns out to make everything more weird, like they way they say ‘sor ar’…simply annoying..><

If there’s anything else that i can add to the list, wearing brand products is definitely on it, LV bags, channel glasses, oh.. iphone is a must-have item, or else how can u possible stay on the metro for nearly an hour…==! lmao

Other than that, i think this writer reallllllly did a great job in summarizing the key weird characters of hong kong local people….LOL..enjoy..

How to be a Hong Kong local: 10 tips on faking it

The cross-harbor cab wave, how to use “seven” and other quick ways to appear like we’ve lived here forever

How to be a local in Hong KongNothing says ‘I am a Hong Konger’ like taking a photo of or in front of luxury brand stores.

Stop sticking out like a teetotaler in Wanchai and try out these little tricks for blending in with the locals in Hong Kong.

Have a tip for pretending to be a Hong Kong local? Share it in the comments box below.

Also on CNNGo: The dirty-fun guide to Hong Kong’s Wanchai bars

How to be a local in Hong Kong

Does this cab “dive”?

1. How to hail a cross-harbor cab

To get a cab that is willing to cross the harbor, you could do the obvious and look for one of the rare signs for a cross-harbor taxi stand.

Or you could just randomly flag down cabs and have an awkward shouting negotiation through the car window with the driver who will be seated on the far side of the car.

Or use the cross-harbor arm wave.

Extend one arm in front of on-coming cab, use the hand and wrist to make an ocean wave motion, indicating that you want the cab to metaphorically brave the harbor waters.

Yes, we know that cabs are legally obliged to take you wherever you want to go. A true Hong Konger knows that laws should be interpreted only as loose guidelines. See the recent chief executive (and election) dramas for further details.

2. How to speak

End every sentence, in English or any other language, with a Cantonese final particle, such as: la, ar, wor, gar.

For example: “Hong Kong is so awesome la!”

Find out more about Cantonese final particles on www.cantonese.sheik.co.uk.

3. How to use an umbrella

The importance of the umbrella to Hong Kongers can’t be overestimated. Rarely exalted, often abused, regularly left at a bar or in a car, the underdog tool is a Hong Konger’s best friend, come rain or shine.

People, particularly women, always have a little retractable umbrella on them that also has an anti-UV coating.

The umbrella keeps them relatively dry during downpours. For a city that gets rain for six months of a year, its denizens really don’t like to get wet.

The other half of the year is usually hot with strong sunshine and the magical shield is pulled out again to block sunrays and keep the skin Fancl white.

How to be a local in Hong Kong

Wha—? Heart-shaped marshmallow?! Must Instagram.

4. How to document life

S**t Hong Kong people say at restaurants: “Oh this dessert looks so cute! Hold on, can you take a photo of me and this dessert? Do one more with the flash off. I blinked, take another one.”

Next thing you know, eight sets of photos with the same dessert but a variation of faces are uploaded to Facebook while the cake collects dust.

Nothing in Hong Kong is more satisfying than flooding friends with photos of our food. It can be more satisfying than eating the food itself.

So always ask if anyone wants to take a photo before setting your chopsticks into something.

Also on CNNGo: Staying in the rural home of a Hong Kong eco-cook

5. How to ask for tissues

Asking for Kleenex will get you nowhere. We know the little sheets of delicate paper for wiping fingers and noses as “tissue” (pronounced “T-see-u”) or Tempo, the dominating brand in Hong Kong.

Most self-respecting Hong Kongers always have a wad of Tempo at the ready, partly because newspapers and magazines come with a complimentary pack. Sometimes, promo folks hand them out at MTR exits just to make sure you aren’t without.

How to be a local in Hong Kong

Ponder the philosophy of tipping when in Hong Kong.

6. How to tip

Show your servers how much of a local you are and be stingy with tipping, or don’t tip at all.

A service charge is almost always included in the bill, so Hong Kong diners don’t bother tipping unless the waiter did something extraordinary such as deboning your sweet and sour pork.

Tipping is more about getting rid of loose change really. So people will leave HK$5.50 for a $500 meal.

7. How to order food

Hong Kongers are very specific (picky) about what they want to order. The customized meal orders at a local diner rivals Starbucks coffee orders.

The most commonly heard orders are “iced lemon tea with less sweetness no ice and lemon slices on the side” as well as “fish ball noodles with no greens plus beef brisket soup base.”

There’s no chef snootiness to put up with here.

Also on CNNGo: Cha chaan teng cheat sheet: What to order at the most popular eateries in Hong Kong

8. How to abbreviate

One thing Hong Kongers have in common with Aussies — we like to abbreviate.

It’s either because we are extremely lazy or extremely industrious — we can’t be bothered to say the full phrase or we need to fit in as many nouns as possible in a short amount of time. Either way, we like it low on syllables.

The 7-Eleven convenience store is just “Seven” (pronounced “seh-fun”), Circle K is “OK” and the spam and egg sandwich is literally “sp-egg-wich” in Cantonese.

Our favorite is saying “sorry” — rendered as, simply, “sor.”

How to be a local in Hong Kong

Take it out! Take it out! Take it out!

9. How to not hold up the line

When it comes to commuting, it is all about not stopping. The body must be constantly moving foward.

That is why train and bus schedules are committed to memory and it is also why it’s imperative Octopus cards are always topped up and taken out ahead of time when one needs to pay.

The idea is to pass nonchalantly through the MTR turnstile without having to slow down at all.

Don’t be the slowpoke tourist who fumbles to find the Octopus card at the bottom of your bag only after you hit the turnstile.

Or worse yet, not have enough credit.

There’s nothing more blush-worthy than the haunting, high-pitched beep of a rejected Octopus and the walk of shame away from the turnstile.

10. How to count with hands

The best citizenship test as immigration officials will tell you, is to count in the local dialect. Take it up a notch and count in the local sign language.

These three numbers can really show off your local know-how: six, nine and 10.

How to be a local in Hong Kong

Hawaiians just get us.

The number six can be represented by holding up six fingers. If you’re a gauche tourist.

Hong Kongers like to do it elegantly and use the “hang ten” hand sign to symbolize six.

Nine gets a graphic representation, by curling the index finger down to resemble the shape of the number “9.”

And to sweep your fruit vendor off her feet, make a cross with your index fingers to indicate that it is exactly 10 apples you want. The international sign for warding off vampires is the Hong Kong sign for the number preceding eleven.

Have a tip for pretending to be a Hong Kong local? Share it in the comments box below.

如果我從來不知道世界這麼大“

我就不會千辛萬苦的跑到這麼遠的地方來“

我就會安安心心的呆在自己出生的地方“

我身邊的朋友就永遠都會是那些人“

我們相親相愛一直到老“

 

可惜一個不小心“

我不安分的心就探了出去“

象蘋果砸在牛頓頭上一樣一樣子砸醒了我“

我發現四大洋七大洲“個個都新奇過我出生的地方“

我想要到外面沒看過的世界走一走“

哪怕事實真相完全和我想像的永遠有千里之差“

還是不顧一切的不回頭的走下去“

 

於是於是我還是離開了“就像我現在遠隔萬里的這麼離開了一樣“

我離開了我出生的地方我成長的地方我親愛的朋友們“

我想念的校園我想念的人我想念的那些午後的時光“

全都再也回不去了“

 

世界太大了“

 

 

 

 

如果我從來不知道世界這麼大“

我就安安心心的讀書結婚生子變老“

井底之蛙時候的我從來看不出有什麽不好“

(雖然我現在也是“較真的人們請自動忽略)

幾個世紀以來的人們不都是這樣過來的“

可是偏偏我現在想得這麼多“

我擔心的事情可以填滿整個井底“

世界這麼大“世界變化的這麼快“

我怎麼能夠不擔心呢“

 

語無倫次的時候“我常常想要跳回去重新當一隻井底之蛙“

AND WE LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER“