How can you stay outside, there is a beautiful mess inside..

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Sometimes I regard myself as someone way too simple-minded than I should be, cuz I assume that people are generally good and what they did are out of good reason, but I’d blame myself for being naive given that people around me are pretty sophisticated.

However, on other occasions I’d blame myself for letting dark ideas slip into my mind and take over, I wonder what would it be like if I do things that way, would it be easier? would it be faster? And then I would helplessly agree that people grow and things change, and I can’t help it at all even if I am talking about the only person that I have full control over, while it turns out that I am not, people just grow, it’s in our nature.

So I would get into the self-disguise circle again criticizing myself for not turning into a better person, yet, not knowing clearly what it means by being a better person. I am assuming that I should choose a side and simply go with it without doubt or regret, so either a sophisticated bitch or a naïve girl, there’s no way that I can have’em both. ><.

Yea, I know you would start to make a list of people with good hearts and yet worldly enough. Then I am gonna say whoever you are naming, either there is a hidden agenda, or they did something wrong, they are trying to make it up to whoever it is.

Whatever, I am still in my early twenties, I am assuming people at my age will do a lot of thinking and still get no results, and then one day, just one blink, they will get all the answers they need to know. So I’m here awaits, pretty patiently..

The reason I said a lot of crap before was that the first episode I just watched made me think about what it means by being responsible as an adult. Unlike being a responsible kid as we were taught, when we broke a rule, let’s say we told our parents we did great in the test when we actually got a C-, we would come clean after all and apologize, and then people would forgive us. Being a responsible adult, however, based on this first episode, seems to me like this: you lied to your parents, if no one saw you doing that or nobody knew about this, then you are totally fine, if any one saw you or anybody knew that you lied, then you tried to find other people’s secrets and threaten them to not tell, and you would get away with it, and sometimes other people would threaten you again, and you would do another trick to keep things unchanged, and things go on and on and on. Nevertheless, probably it’s because when you are an adult, lying about something can cause some serious trouble, e.g.: losing your job, having no money, failing to pay the bills, etc., which means as a responsible adult, those troubles should not happen, but instead of thinking about I should not lie in the first place or no lying next time, you thought about how can I make this go away like it never happened….Soap operas make it seem like totally legitimate and right, but I know things like that happen out there and people are agree with those shit, it seems that a slight different angle, and you will get a whole new different result, and I’m not sure if I’m ready for that.

No need to repeat, the first episode of <Suit> is full of conspiracies, blackmailing, and all those dark ideas.

But hey with the enchanting stories and good-looking actors and actresses, no one should miss that.

#I thought I was gonna write a review#

#let’s call it a quasi-review#

#now thinking back, perhaps it’s because they are dealing with the law#

#whatever, I’m too tired to delete this and write all over again#


Jason Mraz. .單曲循環.
Thesaurus.com一遍一遍的check.
試圖想起Consultation時候那個口齒不清的lecturer到底說了神馬 和一遍一遍的check email看自己拼死拼活寫出來的DRAFT到底有沒有被SEND回來。。。
黑眼圈。速溶咖啡。睡眠不足。。精神抑鬱。。焦躁不安。。定居在7*24…拼字數拼REFERENCE拼LOGIC各種拼。。。
不斷地TRYING TO STAY FOCUS又不斷地嘆氣說老娘這次真的不行了然後看看又埋頭回來繼續打字。。
然後算來算去就算這次的ESSAY好不容易能在DEADLINE之前改完。。離下一個DEADLINE也木有幾天了。。整體就BASICALLY一個傷不起的架勢。。
嗯。。老娘最近功課期哦。。。


有時候覺得自己超級笨啊··什麽都不會··

而且這個感覺在某天某個壞同學說了一句什麽話之後就愈發頻繁的OCCUR TO ME··╭(╯^╰)╮··

拼圖也拼不好(但是依然果斷變身堅持不懈平拼圖的快樂小2B··哈哈)··書也看不懂··常常起晚··又不想隨便就出門··永遠需要化妝之後才能見人··懶的要命··又有點小講究··好像永遠無法FOCUS超過一個鐘以上··超級容易收到環境影響··以至於今天晚上上豆瓣的時候··發現有一個小組在刪人··就是那個在香港轉米的大陸豆子小組··於是又默默的很不爽··永遠吵著要減肥··可每次看到美食的時候又奮不顧身衝過去··對什麽事情好像都三分熱情··之後就再也提不起精神··各種關於電腦的問題永遠搞不懂··以至於那個APPLICATION我還是沒有弄明白HUBBY··就連那幾個VISA 什麽VISA ELECTRON什麽的區別我聽了一遍之後也沒搞明白··唉·· 你怎麼會喜歡我的呢·· 哈哈··我想聽答案~~~聽了之後我也好有點信心嘛~~~嘿嘿~~

~~~~~~~~~~~分割線~~~~~~~~~~

最近超級愛喝酸奶啊··基本上一天那1L的就喝掉了··於是每天去超市買然後背回來的時候都覺得好重啊·· 我特別喜歡新買的那個灰色的高跟靴子··就很想穿··可是我又不想上堂的時候穿··從住的地方走到巴士站要十分鐘多··到下火車之後還要20分鐘才能走到教學樓··我真是懷念從HALL C沖下樓··奔上兩分鐘就到B4-LP的日子·· 有時候有點搞不清楚爲什麽所謂的西方人這麼喜歡把所有的事情都SHOUT IT OUT··還是我太軟弱?就算是戀人之間··每次把話挑明的時候好像都隱隱冒著會談崩的危險··於是那些無所謂的小角色··常常都是隨它去啦麻煩死啦··可是他們就這麼面對面的說··YOU PISS ME OFF··YOU KNOW··那這麼說來裝模作樣虛情假意笑裡藏刀的中國人算是比較成熟嗎??

我也想看生活大爆炸··我想看SHELDON的女朋友什麽樣·· 我還特別喜歡新買的這款香水~~~特別好聞的~~~你有沒有用ONE? 今天在巴士站等車的時候不知道爲什麽看到FIFA的宣傳廣告··於是想起徐小坤同學二三事··–FIFA是什麽?–FUCKING INTERNATIONAL FOOTBALL ASSOCIATION··哈哈哈··

嗯··晚安咯~~麼麼~~

Comments:

    • Jacob
    • 九月 30th, 2010

    你不笨~~~
    只是你比我还不食人间烟火而已~哈哈,我在吃午饭,至于那些问题嘛,我要给你一个详细的答案,可不能现在用三言两语去搪塞你呀~
    你应该是刚刚起来吧, Morning~

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